It’s not hard when it’s not present

When we’re working together and we have to hide

When you’re 1,500 miles away

It’s not hard when we don’t think about it

When we don’t talk about it

But the future is always on my mind

Living with you 

Marrying you 

Raising a family with you

God knew my heart needed you. 

 

I know it’s hard

I know you struggle

It’s what you’ve been raised to believe 

We’re a sin

Every touch

Every kiss

It’s sinful but I can’t believe that

 

I can’t believe that God brought you into my life

Only for our love to be sinful

I can’t believe God doesn’t want me to experience the joy you bring me

I can’t believe that we’re wrong

God knew my heart needed you.

 

I know it’s easier for me

Barely raised with religion

Retiring to reading the Bible and praying

But too anxious for church and RCIA

I know it’s easier for me

Fascinating by the intersection of faith and sexuality 

Fueled by courses at a Jesuit university 

You make fun of me for that and we laugh

That deep laugh that makes my heart swell

God knew my heart needed you.

 

I try my best to be patient

Not letting my expectations ever rise too high

I try my best to listen and to be there

But it’s so hard to hear

I’m afraid I’m going to hell because of everything 

Everything

You mean us

Our love

Our touch

Us 

 

All I can do is wait and pray

Support you when I can

Look to Him for strength and pray for us to survive.

 

God knew my heart needed you, but I wish you knew that too.