It has been a long tiresome day .
But for some reason, I don’t want to go home .
Oh, I know why I don’t want to go home yet.
I need to put a few in me first.
If I go home sober, I will be in for a painfully boring night
At least for tonight I want to keep all my problems at bay.
How I wish I had another place to stay.
But I have a home, so that’s where I have got to be.
But not before drowning myself in drinks.
I stagger home to my dull domestic life,
To a badgering, commanding, irritating being I call my wife.
The sweet aroma is adequately welcoming.
What’s the occasion? Oh! Our twelfth anniversary!
We eat the same food and have the same drinks,
Punctuate the night with the same boring chatter,
And hit climax with the same dreary position,
You know, the one we have been using for a decade.
Oh, this familiarity is killing me!
If my wife fails to give me an adventure soon,
I will most definitely seek it elsewhere.
I suffer another night of her snoring and repugnant farting,
And curse again the cloud that blew her my way.
I wake up in the morning and click.
It’s tea and bread for breakfast,
Just like it has been for the past decade
And like it will be, forever.
My disillusionment is abruptly curtailed,
When the door to my office opens,
And in walks this creature of mystery.
In walks the adventure
I have been seeking all along.
She emerges from nowhere and falls on my lap,
Like Venus emerging from the waves.
She is my adventure and I know it,
Guess who feels like Casanova now!
The sight of her beauty bedazzles me,
So I plunge in head first.
And just like that, my dream comes alive.
With the snap of a finger,
My fantasies become reality.
Sumptuous luncheons, expensive drinks
Tours around the world,
We hit climax every night with different and exciting positions,
And she doesn’t snore at all!
I hate the day I will have to go back home.
I wake up with a cough today and flu tomorrow.
A backache follows and a sore the next day.
The good doctor delivers the bad news,
He takes the glittering adventure,
The glittering band aid to my bleeding life,
And turns it into nightmare that will haunt me forever.
How do I explain this to my wife?
What will become of my life?
This stabs like a knife.
Dear wife, dear kids, dear Lord,
Will I ever find light again?