All the people I once knew are gone.
The hope that I had vanished with them.
Just like that, poof, and it’s all gone.
The mistakes were unforgivable, so I promised never to let it happen again.
My heart is fragile, like my rotting bones, I can only bear so much.
I walked into the room with that knowledge and I walked out with seven devils.
BAM, the barriers that I held were torn down.
The old beliefs I held, poof.
For a while I thought I had won.
I conquered my once lost battles, but I was wrong.
It hit me so hard my bones rattled and my brain spun.

We were once completely inseparable
Everything we did, we did together.
Now when I see you, I shudder and I wonder
What did I ever do to deserve this?
Your stab in my back was more than just a knife
It was an icicle
Cold and hard and untraceable.
And we went our ways.
But deep inside my wounded chest I still feel the unsettling emotions churning inside me
Pain and anger and sadness and confusion and betrayal
And I can’t tell if what I can feel is the blood running down my back
Or if maybe that icicle is finally melting.

You failed me, just as they did.
As the walls of armor drew around my heart,
Poof. Like that all we had accomplished as friends was gone. Poof.
I sat and watched the clock. TIC TOC it said.
I understood then that it was only a matter of time; there was no way to avoid death.
The clock, TIC TIC TIC, fell to the ground, the glass shattering before my feet.
Like the clock, my heart shattered, but unlike my heart the clock is replaceable.
TIC TOC, it goes. My heart? Cold and still.

I can’t help it, when I look at you I still think;
What if?
What if we had never fallen out the way we did, or
What if our individual pride had not kept us from salvaging what we had left?
Would I be like you?
Would you be like me?
We were so close, you know it had to be one or the other.
But perhaps we were never meant to be.
And it was just fate.
Cause I would not like being you.
And I’m sure you would hate being me.

Now when I look at you across the room the bitter taste of betrayal lingers, the memories wrap around my lungs, threatening to suffocate me.
I can see it in your eyes, you know the friendship is lost. You can hear it in my voice and the way I spit out my words.
When I was little I found a dead bird lying on my front porch. I took the lifeless creature and buried it. I said a few words for the beauty and left it.
Poof.
Another friend to bury.
Never again will I be there to pick up the phone when you need reason and advice.
Never again will I be the person to run to you when you are in need.
You once told me I was strong and I’ve been weak.

But I will recover.
And the scar tissue on my back has grown back so hard it’s a shell.
So the next time someone I trust throws an icicle my way,
Damn right I’ll be ready for it.
They thought I was a bitch before, now wait.
POOF goes another.
TIC TOC, it waits for me to repeat.