Free to Be Me

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That feeling of utter desperation

That pit in the stomach and weight on the shoulders

The feeling of complete relief when that is erased and satisfaction

of being complete again and whole once more

 

The secret no one knows 

the truth that needs to get out and escape

sp that you can finally breathe again

it escapes from you heart to your brain to your hand

I write to be free of anything and everything

 

That moment of pride at looking down at the words that seemed to forumlate themselves

That heartbroken realization of finally figuring out that the world is a 

scham

and you can feel the feebleness of your spirit

the feelings and hopes and disappointments that noone knows and when you finally 

let it all out it feels as if heaven opened and your body was patched up so much

you can still feel the sting of the needles

 

the truth is that you really love that boy and the color of his eyes

or the truth that you don't hate yourself but you 

hate the idea of growing up

 

I write for the freedom of myself

to feel everything and nothing all at once

I write because I do feel pain no matter how many times I 

say I'm fine

but I still feel happiness and the truth is that my feelings can change

in the blink of an eye and if I don't write it down 

I'll never remember

I write to feel something, to expierence magic

in it's purest form

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