Narcissistic Ned is driving; no surprise there.
It's all about him. The others? Who cares?
Contemplative Craig lays sprawled out behind.
All the world's troubles slowly race through his mind.
Unique Ulysses sits in the trunk with their bags,
"I'm the first one to do this!" he'd undoubtedly brag.
The car flies down the highway with Ned at the wheel.
Craig remains stoic, his eyes cold as steel.
Ned talks of his talents, and his numerous feats,
Over Ulysses' strange music, stuck on endless repeat.
"If no one can hear me," Ned thinks with a frown,
"How will they praise me? How will they ever bow down?"
Ned pulls the car over, and pops open the trunk.
Craig glances over, still calm as a monk.
Ned says to Ulysses, "I can't hear myself think!"
"All your loud hipster music's pushing me to the brink!"
Ulysses, as always, is lightning fast on reply,
"You're just mad 'cause it's different; it's not boring and dry."
Ned heaves a sigh, he knows it's pointless to fight.
He knows they're just too daft to see that he's right.
Unnoticed, in silence, Craig takes it all in.
When no one is looking he lets out a wise grin.
He can solve their petty problem, but the timing's not right.
He remains still and quiet, staring out at the night.
The darkness passes. Night turns into day.
Craig's face looks so tired; it's haggard and gray.
He doesn't sleep much; his thoughts keep him awake.
But he has to keep thinking, for sanity's sake.
All three are tense and on edge; the air echoes with thunder.
Yet they have one thing in common; they're all stricken with hunger.
They drive off for burgers; Ned picks the place.
From the trunk comes no argument. Craig stares off into space.
Ulysses orders a salad and a cappuccino with cream.
Of course, to him, burgers are way too mainstream.
At this, Ned gets angry, and he gruffly decrees,
"Why must you be different? Just order like me!"
Craig has anticipated this; he can sense when they'll fight.
It was time that he fixed this; the timing was right.
"Can't you two see that you both need each other?
"You may think you're just friends, but you're closer than brothers!"
The others looked shocked when they heard their friend speak.
His voice was surprising; they hadn't heard it in weeks.
Craig bravely continued, "Ned, you owe Ulysses the most.
"Without his innovations, you'd have no reason to boast.
"As for you, Ulysses, Ned's ego fuels what you do.
"You're inspired to be different; to be proud that you're you.
"You depend on each other, don't try to resist.
"'Cause without the other you'd cease to exist."
His speech almost finished, he said, "Now, don't you see?
"Together you're chaotic, that's why you have me.
"To keep you in line, to work out the kinks.
"I can solve the world's problems if I just sit and think.
"Synchronized we function, like a big marching band.
"Separate we're useless, but together we're grand."
They walked back to the car, all three deep in thought.
From that point onward, none of them fought.
Ned was still conceited; some things never change.
Craig still thought deeply, Ulysses was still strange.
They travelled together with neither quarrel nor strife.
Just a dysfunctional family on the highway of life.