They tell me that I'm Kind

Nice

Sweet

Giving

Kind

They use these words over and over

different face

different instance

Same meaning

 

I give them a small smile

And thank them for the compliment

Wishing it were true

Wondering what they would say

if they knew the truth

The thought of the horror in their eyes

makes me want to laugh

I'm tempted to give in

To destroy 

If only to have a chance

To see such a humorous sight

But I don't

 

I don't know why I try to hold back

Why I force myself to act opposite of my

dark desires

Do I actually care about the effects of my actions?

Am I working to gain trust just to betray it later?

 

Even I don't know anymore

It's been so long, I've forgotten

 

So I'll continue on the path I'm on

I'll wait 

And maybe someday

I'll remember