Body, forgive me.

The poking and prodding I’ve inflicted upon you. I’ve wasted hours standing in front of glass prisons, my self esteem hidden behind bars made of stereotypes and a broken society,

Body, forgive me.

I’ve starved you in hopes that empty stomachs could fill the empty assumptions of thinner is better. Every cigarette smoked to replace a meal and every pill swallowed to minimize hunger...and anger of what you turned out to be 

Body forgive me! 

I’ve immersed myself into thinking ribs are pretty tattoos and cheekbones are better seen and not covered. Every skin cell severed in hopes that the insecurities could bleed out through stitched scars 

Body forgive me, cause this is hard! 

I told my therapist I would like to be thinner, 

I’ve been eating cigarettes and literature for dinner, 

He said it doesn’t look it. 

Try diets.

Try exercise.

But food is the problem and what good is it to go to the gym where the bodies that run on machines are the ones who made you feel 

like you are not who you are supposed to be. 

And I leave.

Continue to envy, continue to bleed. 

body forgive me, I guess.

I don’t see why I have to ask forgiveness of a body that does not need to be forgiven, 

This body does not need to apologize

This body does not need to hide behind oversized graphic tees and high waste jeans.

This body deserves mid drifts

This body deserves high heels and open backed dresses

This body deserves compliments 

This body deserves appreciation and dedication and flattering outfits.

This body deserves LOVE

BODY FORGIVE ME for everything I do as I walk this journey on how to forgive myself.