Beliefs of masculinity  

Filled my head; 

Drowned my creativity 

And left me for dead. 

 

Fueled by tradition, 

It was society’s mission 

To restrict my expression; 

And keep me misled. 

 

Since I was young

I was shunned for being me; 

Told I should be hung 

For portraying femininity.

 

For it was a sin

To be a woman within;

In a man’s own skin

I would never be free.

 

Years of torment

As I faced my trials;

Faced harassment,

Judgement, and assault all the while.

 

Embracing myself was never an option;

To feel comfortable in my skin

Was an internal battle I could not win.

For I would forever be vile.

 

As the sand fell

So did my mental state;

Cursed by a spell,

I accepted my fate.

 

Blind to my truth,

Mute to my sooth

Deaf to my youth

I finally surrendered to hate.

 

For years I lived trapped

In my own mental prison;

But something had snapped

And my mind had finally risen.

 

Players of the stage entered my life,

And as if with a knife

Sliced through my strife;

And gave me ambition.

 

Ambition to express and create

Whatever I saw fit;

Without fear of hate

Or of being unfit.

 

It didn’t take long

To see this is where I belong

And begin to feel strong

And not like a misfit.

 

This is when my youth bled away;

When I was proud to be me,

And I knew it was okay

For them not to agree.

 

For hate cannot live without love,

Without people who give you a shove

Or without you rising above.

Letting your creativity fly free.

 

It was when I chose my own path

That I knew I wasn’t a child;

When I survived the bloodbath

And came out with a smile.

For life will always be cruel

Whether or not because of school

People will use you as a tool

But never forget to smile.

 

It took me years to accept myself

And know that I am valid;

To put myself in good mental health

And be able to write this ballad.

 

To feel comfortable as an effeminate man,

To turn my cannots into cans,

To know there is no limits to my creative span.  

For I am forever valid.