Fleeting Thoughts

I don’t understand where this is going.

Where are you taking me exactly?

The way I see it,

This has become an endless cycle

Repeating itself,

Leading to a dead end each time.


You tell me that you think about me..

All the time.

What is that suppose to mean,

Is it an invitation

or a signal?

Signifying that, yes it’s okay.

It’s okay to get your hopes up,

You have a chance, because

I might possibly feel the same way.


Why do these words spill out of your mouth like water,

But when it comes time to prove them

Your mouth runs dry.


I try to make up excuses for you,

But they're not mine to make.

I don’t have to explain to others your reasons,

I don’t want to explain to others the reason why you don't try.


All I’m asking is to choose your words wisely.

Make sure you know what you’re saying,

That the words coming from your mouth are meaningful,

Make sure of your feelings before pouring them onto me,

Leaving me here trying to catch these raindrop feelings,

Slipping through my fingers.

These feelings aren’t easy to catch.


So instead of dropping them on me,

why don’t you try wrapping them up.

Wrap them up in little presents,

give them to me on special occasions.


I want to be with you on those special occasions.

I want to be with you.

I don’t want to be just a thought

I want to mean something to you.


Thoughts are only momentary.

For all I know, the me in your thoughts could be a completely different person.

You could be falling in love with a completely different me.

And if thoughts are enough for you, well then I guess there’s no use for me.


I leap at the chance to be with you.

I go out of my way in hopes of finding sometime for you.

I see you hesitate.

I don’t want you to feel trapped.

So I give you an escape route:

To be with me

Or to keep on thinking.


And imagine to my surprise when you choose the latter.

Why give me this falses sense of hope that our feelings could possibly be mutual,

When it’s so clear to me that they’re not.


I use to worry that I was too immature to fall in love,

Thinking I could possibly feel this way towards you.

Because in reality,

I don’t know you.


I want to know you, 

I want to know all your little idiosyncrasies.

The way you chew your food,

how you say hello to strangers,

whether you're a picky eater.

I want to know you, but

You make it impossible for me.


I’m tired of waiting here,

Agonizing over these raindrop feelings.


I use to get butterflies thinking of you,

Now all that’s left are stomach aches from worrying too much.

Before I meet you, I was in charge of my happiness.


I’m taking back my rights over my own feelings

And letting you float towards the back of my mind where you belong.

Where I’ll keep you for a while,

Until I’m able to forget.


But until then,

you’ll remain in the back of my fleeting thoughts,

Where you so happen to have placed me

So long before.


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