To Feel
I don’t feel anger.
Not that simmering rage that slowly grows inside of you,
More and more being poured in every day until you just
Explode.
I get annoyed
But I'm over it in the time it takes me to say the word
Patience.
I feel sorrow
But ask me to conjure up tears tomorrow
And I’m incapable of the act.
I hate rejection
But not the ones I'm rejected by even though
It’s slowly killing me on the inside
I somehow suppress the pain
Easily as water flows down a drain.
It isn’t normal
I know I'm no sociopath
But if I feel nothing so naturally then how can I have
A heart?
People spend their whole lives worried about other people
What they think and say and do
People spend their whole lives wallowing in despair
Because of one small thing that got in their hair
So how can I be here?
Eyes clear, no real problems to deal with
Not exactly happy, but at least content.
Sure, sometimes I feel worthless
Like I care more than I should, but would
Someone who cares so much be able to bounce back
Like a tennis ball on the court
When they feel betrayed?
Underappreciated?
Stupid?
I fail to see how my resilience can be human.
Most people spend their whole lives
trying to get over pain.
I just might spend my whole life
trying to feel it.