Your quiet breath held mine captive
Rough actions that sealed my mouth shut
Against the screams that tore at my throat
Pushed down into my stomach
Guilt and hate became my new meal
Fed in small and large doses
Making the chasm grow deeper with every scream that never left
Every no I ever said
Screams that degraded into the whispers of the night
Where the cool willows would listen to the pleas
Of the broken girl
With torn skin and a raw throat
Tear streaks that burned down her cheeks
Thighs worn red by endless scrubbing
As she tried to wash away the memories of you
The scars you left turning permanent
As blood runs down the drain
Scarring her lips and her legs
Her back and her stomach
Her neck and her wrists

Your touch then burned her like a brand
Claimed her and marked her;
Where no one could see yet it still screamed to the world
Screamed at her in the night when she saw Christmas lights that twinkled
Screamed at her in forms of scars and loneliness
Isolation and the complete desolation
You desecrated her
Her only safe place among the masses
Her mental haven destroyed
Her own skin a reminder
Slowly, yet faster than she realized
Loneliness and scars became the only reminder that she was still alive
That she was still breathing
Breaths that tear through her
Raking her soul when she remembers
Breaths that she begs to stop.
Breaths that didn’t come when you were there
Breaths that she couldn’t find when she went to beg you to stop
Breaths that come in spurts and leave her at the slightest reminder
The slight tilt of a hat at the grocery store
The muted green of your walls
Christmas lights and dark nights
The brush of a human touch against her hand

A toothy grin.

The grin that she wakes up from at night
Lungs screaming in pain as air refused to come in
Heart pounding in terror as it grows claws and tries to fights its way out
Screams becoming trapped in her throat as her eyes throw themselves around the room.
Unable to think, unable to breath.
Unable to find the will to breath when breathes stop raking her from the inside out
Yet then came the guilt and the hate.

Her new meal of the day.
Fed in the morning, when she wakes and sees her sheets.
Fed in the morning, when she can’t leave her bed.
Fed when she undresses and steps into the shower.
Fed when she sees her thighs, and the bruises where they once sat.
Fed with the reminder of you.
Fed when she stares at the water down the drain, and sees red mixing into a light pink.
Fed when she brushes her teeth, and looks in the mirror, unable to recognize the girl who stares back.
Fed when those cold eyes stare at her, translucent skin and dark circles.
Fed when she changes her clothes and sees her neck, retracing where your lips touched.
Fed when she pulls down her sleeves, hiding her arms. The reminder that she was too weak.
Fed when she sees her wrists, and the memory of your hands holding them down breaks through.

You feed her, every second of every day.
Every breath a reminder that she didn’t get away.
Your terror is left in her
Branded her like cattle. Always your prized possession.
Your terror restricts her.
The memory of you straps her in her grave.
Alongside every scream and plea that never left.