Fatal Infatuation

Fatal Infatuation


As a child I was told of the significance of what we call love

The sweet serendipity that it brings to your life

I was told that it’s the greatest feeling in the world

As a child all I wanted to be was in love

All I wanted was that kind of happiness

I truly believed that this love existed

And I was determined to find it


And when I did, it was just as magical as I anticipated it would be

It was a fantasy up until that fantasy came true

Up until I didn’t have to yearn for love because I had it

And the only thing I yearned for now was that boy that drove me crazy

The boy that had a tight grip on my heart

The boy I trusted to cherish my love

The boy who made me melt just by saying my name

The boy who cried on my shoulder when he needed too

The boy who let me cry on his when I needed too

The boy who held me and didn’t let go when I was having an anxiety attack

The boy who would whisper sweet hypnotizing words into my ear

The boy who put a smile on my face and kept it there

I wasn’t scared because I was too busy falling

I didn’t have time to be afraid


As a child I was told of all the love stories, but never of the heartbreaks

You see no one decided to tell me that love comes with a price

No one told me that love can be the best feeling but also the absolute worst

No one told me that love could keep me up until 3am

Crying over the boy who ran away with my heart

No one told me that no amount of vodka could rid me of the memory of him

No one told me that it would tear me apart piece by piece

No one told me that it would make me feel unworthy

No one told me that there would be no explanation

No words, just silence

No goodbye, just silence

Just the painful sound of silence


No one told me that this feeling, is the worst feeling in the world

No one told me that the pain could leave us numb

No one mentioned the abandonment I would feel when he left

The loneliness I feel

The bitter hatred for myself that I feel

And the worst part is I would hate myself before I would ever hate him

Even after he ripped my heart out and left it on my doorstep

Even after he carved his name into my once whole heart

I could never hate him


Because he called me beautiful and for the first time I believed it

Because he held me and I finally felt safe

Because I gave my body to him and he took care of it

Because he made me feel like the only girl in the world


So why is it that no one decided to tell me that love can be taken away so easily

Why didn’t I know to stay away from love because of the pain it causes

Why didn’t I know that I would never be the same again

Why didn’t they tell me that when it’s gone there is no getting it back


Well the answer is simple

Because love is a fantasy

A fantasy that may last for a little while but it’s never forever

The love stories we were told of are exactly that, stories

They were dreams that people created in their minds

And that's all they will ever be

Because the love we hear about as children

Will simply always be out of reach


So when he said he loved me

When he said he’ll never leave

When he promised me forever

I should have known to be more careful

I should have known that love doesn't last forever

But I didn’t know

So like a lovesick idiot I let myself fall for him

And when I was expecting him to catch me

He dropped me.


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