It's this mindset I'm stuck in

Obsessive and impulsive

I look in the mirror

The image is repulsive

There will be better times

Where I can relax and unwind

But all I ask is why?

Why me? Why now?

I need to figure out how

To control the beast

That is really just a machine

Turned on by memories, facades, and unrealistic dreams

I know how to fix this

But I'm in denial

That something so vile

Can fix my mind, make me think clear and reconcile

I have all these great things

They say there's no reason to be sad

There's not, I know that

But when it comes to listening to others

I'm really bad.

I get A's in school

I have an internship

I have a job

Everything is fine

But not in my mind.

Its the place where everything runs around looking for answers

To things that don't even fucking matter.

These words are just shitty rhymes

That took no time

But they're from my mind

The one that lies

Keeps me trapped inside, unable to feel alive

And I have these common misconceptions

that there is no right direction

And everything I know is just a perception

Of wanting the impossible; perfection.

It's whatever. I don't care.

I'll be fine, I'll be alright.

I just wish I could fucking sleep at night.