Theres a monster inside of me eating me alive.

Words stabbing at my heart,

thoughts penetrating my skin,

and reactions making blood pour.

If only someone knew

or even wouldnt tell,

all my feeling crumpled together

downcasting my every thought.

I just can't help but wonder

wonder if what i did was right whenever i am told the opposite

wonder if i wasn't alive if things would get easier or will things transition into something better.

Words crowd my mind like you wouldn't believe.

 Voices

voices of  people calling me names 

they are just on constant replay in my mind.

And just as i think that im alright

I can get through this, 

I attain even further, 

as if i am adding songs on a playlist.

I am stuck.

One day 

I will feel as if I belong.

I will feel like I have been making advancements in my thinking for my life.

I will know that i am loved.

One day, 

one day i will be happy.