When does the drone of the air conditioner stop drowning out the monotony of my thoughts

The nights get longer and I I hate not being tall

I wish my bed was softer and my friends would answer my calls

And I wish I wasnt me at all

 

I want someone to love me for all the love I'd give

But I'll  never ever get that far and live

I dont think I'm pretty just kinda average at best

Just fat enough to make someone look better in their dress

 

I dont fight

I wont complain

You can hurl insults at my name

I wont stop you because I'd be remiss

Not appreciating someone knowing I exist

 

I'm terrible at suicide I can never get it right

My whole being wants out but this gut feeling wont let me die

So I walk vaguely through the day just existing

No one's listening

Im insisting 

That I'm happy

I'm not, I'm just slowing down the rot

When will someone catch my bluff

I'm just kidding, they dont care that much.

 

That's how he got me all tangled up

Bruised and torn

They asked me what I'd worn but he made me feel important

And thats what I get for forgettting I'm not worth it

 

Now I turn over in my bed forever drowning in my head

Cold floors and sleepless nights but at least I'm alone tonight

So I can write a note instead and leave it white while I lay red

And wonder if the air conditioning will stop droning if I'm dead