I sleep only to stay awake
My dreams so vivid, that my deep slumber goes to waste
I dream of awful things
Of shaking and jerking uncontrollably, endlessly
Of seeing myself being cut open, witnessing the beautiful crimson blood flow from its horrendous vessel, finally free
And then I awaken
Not knowing whether I rise from my slumber out of fear or awe
Fear of these terrifying beauties coming to life
Or in awe of my constant realization of the angelic horror bestowed upon me in my imprisoned state of mind

No, I have decided
I hate my dreams because I never awaken from them
I wake up from one nightmare only to live in another
I am the epitome of the endless cycle of pain
Bound to hospitals like metal to a magnet
Never meant to fly, not even free in my sleep
Never blessed with the bliss of dreamt delusion
Always forced to face reality
I try everyday to get lost in my mind, only to be denied by the cruel tortures of life
It is as if I subconsciously enjoy my own suffering

Help me
Please help me escape
LET ME OUT
LET ME OUT OF MY HEAD
please…
I can't take it anymore
You don't know what it's like
It's as if you mentally defile yourself in all aspects of your pitiful existence
I truly can't find a reason to bear it all
Yet I do
Why?

Maybe that is what these disgusting dreams hope to tell me
Manipulating me like a little girl manipulates her dolls
No escape, no mercy, just a bystander in my own body
Such ingenious tactics to help me answer the reasoning behind each of my ongoing pitiful breaths

So I look closely as I watch myself suffer, hoping to find why I keep suffering, or why I love it so much
The mystery intoxicates me
Why am I alive?
HAHAHAHAHA
IT'S SUCH.
A FUNNY.
QUESTION.
That needs an even funnier answer
I MUST find it

Now every night this is what I recite, to try and see the moonlit light, summoned by my mortal fright
Dreams Oh Dreaded Dreams, what do you seek to birth from this pain, what is the gain of keeping me as your puppet, do you wish for me to be decrepit?
No, you are not that kind, so here I offer you my heart, in return for my mind, do you dare agree to bargain with me this one last time?
Because I am sure to lose, I just wish for some everlasting peace of mind.