It’s difficult

Getting over you was difficult

Pushing you out of my life and allowing myself

To be myself

Was difficult

 

Too difficult

It was the most difficult thing that I’ve ever done

And I have carried my brother home on my back

And I have wept with my mother at the grave of her son

And I have felt the pain of my father’s rage

And I have felt the pain of my own

But losing you

By my own will

Was still

More difficult

 

Then it was difficult

Finding you again

And holding you in my arms again

And not letting myself succumb again

To what we were before, back then.

Back when

It wasn’t difficult

 

 

And I’ll admit, it was difficult

Seeing the ways in which he hurt you

And seeing the words with which he burned you

And he robbed you

And he took away all the beautiful things that you were

Until I could not recognize you

In my mind you were a blur

But I found you

When he left you

When you just stopped allowing him to control you

And that freed you

And yet

It was difficult

 

Now it’s difficult

Now you say that someday I will have you

Now you say someday my dreams can come true

Now you say that you’ll never break my heart again

Now you say that we’ll never be apart again

But I’m scared

Because I can’t be sure

It’s just…

You’re

Difficult

 

No

No

No

No

It’s easy.

Being with you is so easy

Talking with you is so easy.

Holding you tight is so easy.

When your hand fits in mine it’s so easy.

Looking straight in your eyes is so easy.

Your eyes, bright, brilliant, blue, sparkling like Listerine

And you’re gorgeous like every sunrise that I’ve seen.

Still just as beautiful as that shining day when I met you.

When I knew then and there I would never forget you.

You make me so happy.

So joyful,

So breezy,

You make my life easy.

 

So,

So,

So,

Easy

So when you tell me I make your heart flutter by like a butterfly

And you say that I’m beautiful.

And I tell you that’s a lie.

Stop being hurtful

Until you say you could kiss me.

Until you say that you’ve missed me.

Until you say that that you love me.

It’s easy.

 

It’s easy,

Because I could fall back in love with you

So easily

If I let myself

And if you let me

And that is why it’s not easy.

It’s not easy.

It’s not.

It’s just…

Difficult.