Did You Know?

I write this both to thank you and to forgive you,
And I hope you can forgive me just as much.
Maybe not now, but one day.

You were there, always and forever-
Us against the world.
Why did it fade out so quickly?
Why did you want more, even to the point of scaring me?

Did you know?
Because I wouldn’t for years later,
when I finally wrote this to let you know
That I thank you and forgive you.

I may have blocked everything for years,
But I will face it now-
To put us both at rest.
To thank and forgive.

You taught me to not think of myself-
Only what I could do for others.
I have struggled with hating myself and not caring about myself since,
But I now realize that that’s my fault- and not yours.

I can’t blame you for everything,
And hating you would hurt so much more.
Thanking and forgiving seems to be the only option,
No matter how painful it is to recall what left me with nightmares.

Did you know?
That I both love and hate you now?
That I thought I was nothing for the longest time?

Or do you now know,
That I forgive you
And thank you for the experience that made me better
Than I ever could’ve been otherwise.

~ LaNona Walker

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