As hard as I try nothing matters

I want so bad to change my life

at work listening to the endless chatter

at home I pick up the knife 

Is it so bad its come to this?

school its so close yet out of reach

bills pilling into a growing list

All I want is to teach

I continue forward trying to change

but lifes plan seems not to have that in store

so close but still out of range

I dont think I can do this anymore

one more cut before I fall asleep

perhaps its a desperate cry for help

but still the cut is deep 

ive just forgotten how it felt 

To feel alive 

without stress 

renewed drive

no mess