Defining such a thing as self is not the thing to do

for those with existential crises looming,

Changing how I think and see and feel

And when I feel that what I am is

Who I've always feared to be then

That is when the thing to do is try to

 

Stop

 

Waiting

 

Praying that the world will somehow

see my mind inside my skull

 That somehow somewhere someone new

can know the things inside my head that

show the truth of who I am

And who I want to be and who I…

 

No

 

I

 

Can't become whatever thing

I see myself to be when I am

Stuck inside the definition

That I use to set the Standard,

Raise the flag of "Who I Am"

And tell the world how I define

 

Myself?

 

I

 

Take my countenance into

Account and add it to the

Things that I regret and know

That I can never change or fix

The way I see myself and how I

Cannot help but understand I ramble

 

On and on and on and on and on and on and on while wasting

 

Precious breath of brain

On silly things like how I try to

Use short phrases, shorter words

to justify my plea to Man to

See the way I see myself

But what am I supposed to do to make the world

 

Comiserate or validate

That all my sins and hopes and fears

drown out the things of better years

I tell my peers, my "friends" the things

I think they want to know,

They want to think that I'm the things

 

That I am not, can't ever be

In short

 

I see I am the thoughts and nouns and adjectives

That make up what I think and one could

Say that I'm that One,

The plague of lexicography

I use myself inside the

definition of my soul

But can't apologize for breaks in

rhyme or beat because

I'm not continuous in life

I only am Defined at certain points,

 Defined by my Mistakes