Can someone truly be defined?

the way that a body curves that can make a woman who she is.

but growing up I never felt that. 

I knew I was different by middle school, but I hid it from others

trying my best to just be normal. straight. female. like all the other girls who where along my side.

I struggled with my identity as much as I struggled with my home life. 

eighth grade began my hatred for my mother and the red lines that made me stick out along with the pain it brought me.

freshmen year.

I learned about fitting in and finding someone who meant so fucking much to me.

but he left me in a weeks passing. or was it me? 

for having all these issues 

I'd never know.

after all of that I just gave up with school. 

fuck my classes and everyone. 

and now here I am. 

to be defined is not something I am good with

I am a kid who's;

depressed

has no mother

has fucked an older man

has done drugs and drank till I cant feel anymore

is anxiety risen 

is alone in the world most of the time

paranoid

and just wants to be normal.

that is who I am.

how I define myself.

and it helps me through everything. 

to get better and maybe not hate myself as much anymore when times get dark.

even though im still a child.