Deeper Than Embarassing

Sun, 06/16/2019 - 01:55 -- Zhawal

Ever since I was sliced from the belly of my mother, I had always felt embarrassed.
This emotion had brought upon me a type of distress which is hard to escape not because it is impossible, but because it was deserved.
To feel happiness is awkward and misplaced as each smile lacked the lift to deliever its pleasantness to my eyes.
My anger made me uncomfortable because I too would be singed by its flames.
The sadness which was experienced is what drove the embarrassment into my teenage being transforming it into shame.
Joy wasn't something that my mind could produce in myself, as shame stole its positivity and left nothing but an empty shell.
My irritation crumbled and became vexation; I wanted everyone to feel my fury, yet with this ugly expression I realized that wrath had no place to settle.
The sorrow which had buried this advancement in my bones left me with a grief so deep, the girl who never was could not find its depth.
This glow up had took the innocence from me to compose a musical piece of pure torture.
Why does shame always appear when one grows older?

This poem is about: 
Me
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