I can hear the debate whispered on the ears of classmates.

 

I'm sick of being a conversation topic.

Like I have to wear a sign around my throat that reads caution.

I'm bad with confrontation.

I don't want to explain to you why talking about gay people

in abstract concept is demonization.

 

My existence is not a political stance.

Educate yourself.

Because it is not my job.

Because of this mob mentality that is straining on me,

I know the world does not stop to coddle the problems of a lost cause,

with hesitation I pause.

 

Because I can hear the sound of my own feet wandering the streets,

like a nomads no where,

kicked out by the time I'm eighteen.

 

I'm scared of what the future holds.

I'm scared of what I cannot control

and I'm scared of this classes public opinion poll.

I'm scared of the way that the world works

and I'm scared of the words that I write down in my notebooks.

I'm scared of college tuition and having no ambition.

 

I'm scared of my own parents never loving me because that might just be my reality.

 

Now, I spend my time securing the windows and doors in my mind

and I don't pick up the phone when it rings anymore.

My journals are filled.

But I still have to sit in that classroom.

And I won't speak up.

 

Because this debate is over.