It is cold.
Not outside in this physical state but mentally and inside this heart and mind.
It is cold.
Its something I can't control but it has happened.
I am a zombie walking the path of life's hardships.
I get through to tomorrow with no expectations.
I expect none to be taken.
Every feeling I have is numb.
Pushed on edge many of times, now I just sit looking over the cliff, being numb.
No excitement in my eyes.
Getting myself together, no one should know,
this is top secret right!
I'm crazy right?
I'm crying silently for help smothered by a smile plastered on my face.
Its cold.
I stand with the little pride I have left.
Words of defeat blows straight through me.
Shivering through the little hope that I have.
Being choked by my own laugh.
Struggling to breathe.
I am on the edge.
I'm rocking slowly.
It is so cold.
I don't want to be numb anymore....
I don't want to fight to breathe anymore...
Its over......
Soon as I decide to jump, I collapse to a knock.
I am taken back to reality.
I am in the bathroom mirror.
Behind the door is hopes, dreams, joy and life.
I look in the mirror and smile a smile that makes the plastered one shatter to dusty pieces.
Tears of joy fall.
I have accepted who I am.
I have recognized my flaws.
I have remembered me.
I am the life God has given me.