You were never the one who got tests
hung up on the fridge
and you never handled a ball well enough
to earn a trophy
You were never your sister, who had
the good grades and the runner's legs.
Everything you were every passionate about
was scoffed at
and called a phase.
But you actually have so much love that
you can't contain it to one thing;
if you didn't also have so much love for
people and what they think,
you wouldn't care
if you did all of them at once.
This underwater cave runs so deep
and has an abundance of crevasses that
nobody has seen
because they never thought to swim far enough.
And now the man who understood your passions
has a bullet in his brain.
Even before this,
you started to close up your gates
and found yourself an alternate reality,
You had a pen you used to use to write on people's hearts
but you've clicked it up
in fear that you'll run out of ink before anyone decides to write on you.
And the person you want to write on most
hardly even reads anymore.
She would speak to you more if she thought
you were interested
And you would speak to her more
if you thought she'd understand.
But when all the other boys tell you that
chasing after girls is the only way you'll
Your big sister will always be there to hold
And she knows that will never be enough
And these margins will never be wide enough
to fit in all of you
But if by writing in them,
I could help you love yourself just
a little bit more,
that would be enough.