Dear Rose,

I wonder who you will be

Whether I will find you in a library

Or a classroom

Or online

I wonder whether I will approach you then

Say hello and offer a hand

Or if I will be too cowardly.

Likely the latter.

Dear Rose,

I want to know when I will greet you

How I will greet you

Whether you will smile at me or frown at my stutter

I hope it will be the former

And that you will be flattered that I find you so lovely

That I cannot speak clearly at first

I want to let a wall down and let you hug me.

Even though I may grit my teeth in discomfort.

Dear Rose,

You see,

I am in pain

And I am sure that after a while

You will notice the blood in my clothes

The bruises on my skin

The ashes of my burned tongue

That seem to choke me when I try to raise my voice.

Everyone sees it eventually.

Dear Rose,

I hope you will not be frightened off

When I am bleeding heavily

When it is flooding my eyes and nose

When my bones crack as I try to move

When I flinch at your touch

Because everything burns

I promise I will be okay.

Some days hurt more than others.

Dear Rose,

You will never have to stay

Please never think you must

I have been doing this for a while

I can handle one more stab

I can survive the mutilation

I have before

I do not need your looks of pity.

Just go if that is what you want.

Dear Rose,

I wonder when I will notice

That you have been mauled too

Maybe it will start with a scar

Or a limp

Or a chipped tooth

I am sure I will see it quickly

You learn to recognize when others are in the same state.

You learn that very soon.

Dear Rose,

We will heal eventually

Or maybe not

Maybe we will continue to die together

It seems that whenever the bleeding stops

There is a burn to take its place

But we have bandages

We can help each other wrap them.

Forgive my hands for trembling.

Dear Rose,

I cannot wait to meet you.

Love,

A Violet