Dear Life or my broken heart,

Location

92026
United States

Not knowing whether to breathe anymore, to blink, to live… I’m in a battle field. I against you; you against me. Your violent words, bullets that kill me in a way I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I try to dodge, God even notifies me and yet I don’t dodge them; my heart is attracted to your ways of killing. You killed me once… Actually many times, in which I have coped and relieved because my heart never gave up on you. But today, it has. Not only heartbroken, but worse. Tired. Tired of not feeling myself in front of you. Wearing a mask which covers my identity just to impress you. But maybe what took us to this war is it that you got tired of my fakeness. But it was a fakeness to put a smile on your face. After the war you buried me. You dug me deep down into the dirt with insects whom I heard the echoes of laughter as they were humiliating my stupidity. My spirit felt the anxiety. Anxiety of thinking about you with someone else. Yes, my spirit followed you. It followed the aroma of a killer, a killer who murdered my heart. But my spirit is a magnet being pulled like a little boy with his wagon. I saw you. You and her. A replacement in which my spirit couldn’t live for anymore. She was pretty, yes, with a luring smile, but she was the evil who had taken you away from me. Your smiles collided into a love I wanted with him. They were happy, I wanted that. You are still my favorite chapter that I reread over and over at night when I skim through our pictures and videos of when we loved each other, when we were devoted to one another. I cry till red tears from my heart pour out of my eyes. Little love notes were tears that fumed into fire as my mind realized how much I suffered over him. My mind felt my pain, and that is when I came to life. You killed me, but not forever. I’m back from the dirt. My mind controlled my heart. My mind was now the killer. My mind killed my anxiety and my negative thoughts about myself. It told me that I was gorgeous, talented, and show too much care and love to those who do not deserve someone like me. I went to the battlefield again. My mind against him and my heart. My flashbacks had the power to block my love towards him and defeated him. I killed him, and now I won the heartbroken war. I know I am too good for him, too valuable and someday someone will cherish me.

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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