dear the girls i've loved

do you remember,

when your lips softly brushed mine,

and my heart was a bird escaping it's cage,

and my soul had wings bursting from my back,

because you smelt like cocoa butter and tasted like strawberries,

and you smiled and it was like you were the sun?


me neither, because it never happened.


do you remember,

when i wore my dark purple lipstick,

and i left smeared marks along your pale collarbone,

and i felt your heart beneath my palm like the drum in the marching band,

because you were as excited as i was, 

and your lips crushed mine, but the pain was worth it?


i don't really, because it never happened.


do you remember,

when you held my face in your hands,

and you felt my cheeks heating in your palms,

and when the sun shone in your eyes, i felt like i had been sucker punched

but i guarded myself against you with harsh edges,

and you kissed me like i was soft anyways?


how could i? your hands left my face, and went to grab your boyfriends instead.


i hope,

that one day,

when i love another girl, she will love me back,

not like you did.

not like you.

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