Dear Former Best Friend

Dear Former Best Friend,

 

I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last talked.

The hours turned to days and the days turned into months of nights I stayed up crying wish that we were speaking.

So much has happened since then, and one of my biggest desires is for you to know everything.

It astonishes me that that despite the time we’ve spent apart in our now strictly-facebook-friends relationship, I still want to tell you everything about my life.

But you’re not my person anymore.

 

My person, the one who was my other half, the one who I could count on, the one who I needed to be there for me when I was going through my first heartbreak.

My person, who I desperately needed and still ache to have, so that I could call you during the good and the bad moments.

My person, who you were supposed to be forever, but it didn’t work out.

 

I just wanted to apologize. I apologize for the fights we had. I apologize for the plans I made without you.

I apologize for not telling you about the booger hanging out of your nose when you were flirting with the boy I liked.

I apologize for the pictures I didn’t upload of us because I thought you looked better than me.

I apologize for being the jealous friend while watching you prosper.

I apologize for blocking you immediately after that final exchange of blows.

Not being your friend is strange, but I understand why things turned out the way they did.

 

Despite our lack of friendship, I would like to say thank you.

Thank you for letting me latch onto your family when I was having trouble with my own (I miss you, mom).

Thank you for trusting me with your secrets. P.S. I still haven’t told.

Thank you for being honest with me even whenever it hurt.

Thank you for the many nights we didn’t sleep and just stayed up talking.

Thank you for being the best best friend I could ask for.

 

I miss you dearly.

I miss sitting in your driveway after sneaking out for late night Whataburger runs.

I miss taking photos with you.

I miss scrolling through the abundance of posts we sent back and forth to each other just because they reminded us of one another.

Sometimes, I look through all of the photos that used to be pinned and framed on my wall.I laugh looking at how happy we were, but it kills me because I know we will never be close like that again.

Having you as my best friend will always be one of the highlights of my life.

I miss my best friend.

I hate that in a sea of people posting to my timeline, I see you and don’t know if it’s okay that I do.

I hate that when people ask about you and how you’re doing, I have no clue how to answer.

I hate that we don’t talk anymore.

I  hate that our friendship, isn’t a friendship anymore.

I’m not sure how any of this came to be.

I’m not sure where we went wrong.
I’m not sure why we couldn’t work past our issues.

I’m not sure what made us so incompatible and let our relationship slip away into the abyss of meaningless conversations and old photos.

 

I hope you never forget the good times we had.

I hope you know that I’m only a DM away.

I hope you know that I’m keeping all of the promises we made.

I hope you know that I’m still your biggest fan and will always be rooting for you.

 

I still love you,

 

Your Former Best Friend

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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