Dear Arfid

Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder

You have been in my body for 5 years now 

I was in the 4th grade when you showed up at my place 

Doing anything it takes to drain the colour from my face 

The pounds you've taken out of me are growing harder to replace 

The contestants are me and malnutrition, and malnutrition is winning the race 

You were a stranger living inside me and now I finally know your name 

After all these years of suffering, I finally know what to blame 

Arfid is taking over me, I can feel myself starting to fade 

The numbers on the scale are decreasing every time I get weighed

You're not just killing my body but also my head 

Soon I won't have the energy to get out of bed 

And thats what you want, you want to see my body fail 

Because That's what it takes for you to prevail

You are slowly evaporating the blood from my once filled veins 

I'm trying to remove you, in my head you still remain 

The feeling you are giving me is so hard to explain 

It's like a mix of anxiety, depression and pain

I know you have to eat to live 

And we live to eat 

But that's where arfids got me beat 

I don't live to eat because you have been assigned 

To erase that feeling of hunger from my mind 

The amount of nights I've stayed up sobbing and crying 

Recognizing that my body is slowly dying 

You have numbed my mind so I can't do anything about it 

You have made me hate food, but I can't live without it