The day the World lost it's glamor


-The day the world lost part of its glamour was the day my first love walked away
-The day I realized that he was the type of guy....
-That gave me flowers on a bad day
-That stayed up with me when I swore his voice was the only thing that could make me fall asleep
-The sort of guy I could see myself loving every day as if that were the only thing I was good at
-It was On that day 
-The day i realized that that he was the kind of guy who kissed like promises
-But broke every one as inevitably as the rising dawn breaks the night sky
-He was always the type that stood sturdy as an oak tree but moved like sand
-Always Slipping right between my fingers
-He was always that kind of guy
-That gladly took the unwanted seat by the emergency exit
-That had dozens of scars etched into his skin like bail because he was always a flight risk
-Since him the world had lost its glamour; Before him I thought love was everything
-When really it's just a band aid solution to loneliness
-To feelings of inadequacy 
-To those nights when your head feels like an ocean of loud cacophonous thoughts threatening to swallow you whole
 -Really, it's nothing, but a temporary fix for wanting warmth in your bed
-To wanting to feel beautiful, and intelligent and sexy and worthwhile and every other empty word he used to tell you were all the reasons why he loved you but weren't reason enough to stay
-It's a temporary fix for everything you're afraid you can't feel and be on your own
-A momentary crutch until someone comes along and shatters you so completely your world is a kaleidoscope of adjacent memories and feelings, no longer landing in harmony
-And You're forced to remember that you were built to stand on your own-Love is not what makes the stained glass picture
-it's duct tape and you are a beautiful mosaic
-Someday the pieces will fit so perfectly together It'll be Unbreakable-And there will be no weak spots for duct tape to convince you, you need him
-The world may lose a bit of its glamour when he goes, but you are not meant to lose yourself
-Love will come and go-Building you up when you let it and and breaking you to pieces if you let it too
-And not IF it goes or SHOULD it go
-but WHEN it goes
-You'll stand tall-When he finishes numbering off the reasons why another girl should rest in the curve of his neck-Why she deserves your kisses on her forehead-Why you no longer fit into the bends and creases of his everyday
-You'll know that you're ok-You'll watch him leave and tell him Thank you ...for reminding me


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