The Day I Changed

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That day hunts me everyday

At the time I thought that all wounds would heal but it does not seem that way

Ten years have passed and it seems as I get older the worst it gets

Thoughts race though out my head wondering how I can overcome what you did

Since that day I have never had sex, went on dates, nor had my first kiss

Your actions see what they cause?

You said that I was the only target and that you lost your mom that day

But what about me and how it affects me for the rest of my life?

I am not the same person I was the day you told me to get on my knees

The day you told me to lay down and open my legs

As I laid there and you penetrate me

I just laid there like a doll and took the pain

As you finished I see the blood and when to the bathroom to clean myself up

I acted like nothing happen until the next day you came back and tried to stick your penis in while I was laying on my stomach

I stared at you with wide eyes and you looked at me and said nothing

You walked away and said nothing

Nothing happen right?

Is that what helps you sleep at night?

Do you have the same thoughts when you see me and will you ever face me?

I am now twenty-years old and will turn twenty-one in July

I like life and I am now a college student

What you did still affects me and I hope that one day you can see what you did and see how much pain you caused me not only mental, emotional, but physically

I hope that you will see yourself for what you really are

Do I still think of you as a cousin or even family?

I ask myself that often and I cannot answer that

I want to get married one day but what you did will affect that area too

Can’t you see what you have done to me?

I am a different person and sometime cannot tell reality from illusions

This is not the end for me but the beginning

Let’s just hope that I won’t be the only to take your life away and show you how it feels to hurt someone so deep that they cannot define who they are…

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