I’m ashamed to admit it 

Your beating heart might be the only real thing

Keeping me alive right now

 

I’m ashamed to say I’ve lost all

The meaning of life right at my fingertips

Beautiful joys got me buried in gratitude

 

What was I supposed to do

Just do what you can in 12 or 13 hours

It’s just life and always time to go anyway

 

What if it’s all being done 

Without thought or love on purpose 

All the magic I make-believe is gonna disappear

 

I couldn’t imagine you seeing me swinging 

Hanging is effective but it isn’t my choice

So I’ll stay and put it away safe tonight

 

Why must I block my intimacy with a wall

Was my mouth always sewn shut

With me just leaning into dark stolen places

 

I’m ashamed I tried so hard to do it my way

I could have listened instead of trusting 

Lest I woke up sick and wet tangled in cord

 

I’d die if it had happened to you

So I’ll sleep with the moon in the window

Your beating heart keeping me here another day