A Cry For Help
Listen close and you’ll hear my cry
I’ve given up my life is no prize
With wounds so deep
I can not try
When all hope is lost
I look up for you
Falling to my knees
Resting my head into the palm of my hands
Crying so much my clothes are now drenched
I say to myself “I am not alone”
As if that was true
I have no purpose in life
Just a body that can not speak as if I could
A body that can not express its feelings as if I ever would
“Who are you?” They say
I am just an actor
I put on a mask as if I am okay
When in all reality I am far from it
Warm salty tears running down my face
As I sit here with a knife to my chest
“Just do it it’ll end all your suffering”
Maybe just one slit to my wrist
Or a stab to my chest
Will end all the pain that I endured
Looking up to the sky
Tears still running down my face
“Heavenly Father” I say
What have I done to deserve this
What more can I take?
This life I have is just not worth living
I am alone with no one to understand me
My walls are so high there is nothing but darkness surrounding me
But I can not let them down for anyone because I’m afraid that they’ll hurt me once more
I gave someone my heart
And they gave it back in pieces
I’ve been played like a fool
I am no more than a stool
That just stand still and let everyone sit on me
Lord can I ask you something?
If I kill myself right here
Will it end things for me?
“You will not gain anything from it”
A voice in my head said to me
Put the knife down and wipe those tears
And I promise you life will get better
There’s always a rainbow after a storm
Come my child
See all that I have to offer
Your life might be hard now but it will get better
Just got to have faith
“But that’s the problem” I say
I have no faith left
I don’t know how long I can hold on I can not take this pain no more
“Think of your family”
My family?
If I do this it’ll crush them and that’s the last thing I want
Their happiness is everything to me even if I’m suffering I can not bare to see tears run from their faces
“Then put the knife down my child and give life one more chance don’t dare give up now”
Sitting here in the darkness for a minute thinking
As I sit the knife on the table I grab my mask and put it on
I may not be happy but I’ll do my best to keep everyone around me happy and far from my state of mind
“Thank you lord” I say looking up at you once more
You’ve help me believe that I can have faith
I have to try and fight my demons once more
Better days will come for me
Life may be hard but I’ll get through it
I’m just a soldier in a war that I may or may not win
But I’ll give it all I’ve got til I meet my end