My body's aching stuck in this rut.
I'm wanting windows to open
instead doors slam shut.
I live a life that can be taken away
so easily it can be stripped from my soul.
Yet I still trek on living as day to day.
The profession to educate
I have chosen is still just
as meaningful as we are to procreate.
But I don't think that two years in
I can still go on living like I am happy
when I'm not and I lie about my heart not broke'n.
I want to take a walk on the wild side.
I want to go insane and choose not carefully.
I want to be lost and not found inside.
I want my feet to fail me
and lead me down the wrong path.
I want to drive into the sea.
What's killing me now is living in suburbia.
I can't take the fresh air in
its driving me insane like a song of disturbia.
I crave the wrong travelers backpack
in my hands as I walk in a country
not knowing where I'm going or if I'm coming back.
What doesn't need me are the palms of Hollywood
So I lay here in my school clothes teaching of a
profession I no longer need, but doing what I should.
Be the best child, be the strongest sister.
Success is a dream falling short.
The pain settles like a long term blister.
Beneath my skin I feel the throb of it
breaking my heart everyday and I say
no, it doesn't hurt, but still takes bit by bit
The dream I've always dreamt.
The words I've always had the right to say
but didn't say, the meaning for that I was meant
To follow my dream
of writing and acting
not a job I did not mean.