Creative Writing

“Chronic wrist pain” doesn’t look that bad, neatly typed and filed away in a doctor’s office.
Case closed.
And it doesn’t sound that bad; there’ll just be a little twinge of pain that keeps coming back.
Until you realise that’s wrong.
The pain never comes back because it never goes away.
Until you realise that the pain comes with weakness.
You cannot do a push-up without your throat burning in a scream or a sob.
Until you realise that you have to quit Band.
It is foolish to continue to pursue that path, as it will aggravate your condition.
Until you realise that you should not sign up for that AP class you were so interested in.
Your desires were not considered as a factor.
Until you realise that your wrist may never get better.
They don’t even know what’s wrong with it.
Until you realise that prescription painkillers don’t even make you tired anymore.
You don’t know what the next step after Oxycodone is.
Until you realise that you’re almost afraid of what will happen if it gets fixed.
It’s familiar now, and normality isn’t.
Until you realise that you define “fine” as “not much pain.”
Other people don’t understand that “not so great” means “Be right back; I’m going to go cry.”
Until you realise that you will plan your life by limitations.
Even if you recover, things will be different.
Then it sounds pretty bad.
Then it looks pretty bad.
And you’ve had to give up some things.
You really loved some things, and you really hated gym class.
There are some ups, even if for once, you actually wanted to do all of gym.
And you’ve had to make some decisions that weren’t The Way Things Should Be.
But on the bright side…
There’s a class that you knew you shouldn’t sign up for.
It will most likely exacerbate your pain.
So you signed up and underlined it.
One victory at a time.

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