The concerns of a sensible young girl

I told someone my secrets.
I told all of my secrets to a bucket.
I'm afraid they won't hold.
Who the hell needs a leaky bucket with their words
taped to the bottom?
I'm afraid I've given my guns
to volatile abolitionist
Who the hell needs that?
I made a description.
It was too easy.
How could I?
The fear.
What if I gave
myself a problem?
I want to find love that
will feed me and not drain.
That's what I'm really scared of.
I'll let myself be drained like a tub.
What can I do once I've been drained?
There is nothing that can be done
once you are empty life can't
replenish you on it's own.

Do I love you the way I think I do right now?
You are so strange and incomplete.
Do you need me? Need me the way I want you?
I know that I seem like the puppy on your heels.
A love-lost ghost in the eves.
What am I supposed to do?
Well, not supposed to do.
What do I do?
I need to act.
Baby, love drains you like a tub,
Real love feeds you like good grub.
Why am I afraid?
I don't know you.
Why am I afraid of what you might do?
I don't know what you want.
I hardly understand my own motivation.
Why do I want to slap you?
You haven't done anything,
have you?
I think you must've because I'm not unreasonable.
I want to be with you all the time.
What do you think of me?
Do you think of me at all?
I am conflicted.
I have abandoned myself I think.
Have you noticed that?
I don't like it.
I don't like leaving my old self.
Do you mind that I care so much about how you live?
How you move and are?
I cannot be in love with you.
I'm not big enough yet.
Are you loving me anyway?
You make me feel so small.
Will you even help me grow?
I hope so.

This poem is about: 
Me

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