Happiness stapled to the surface

Discontent smohered in smiles

Despair cloaked in giggles

Obscured visons of the past kept buried deep in my hippocampus.

I'm broken, the peices of me scattered everywhere

held together by a simple smile.

I'm suffering, tenderly tending to the scars of life that I've been stuck with.

I'm angry!

And no one knows this, no one can know.  You will never know.

searching, because pain an redemption go hand in hand right? They have to.

Constantly dreaming of a nightmare

'cause calamity seems to be destiny.

When 'good' is just a less toxic evil, pain and agony become a lifestyle.

Ha! I'm being dramatic.

What those call flirting is my only way of survival because I am constantly attempting to aquire the love my father never gave,

perpetually craving the misplaced bit he did.

You'll never understand.

Don't attempt to.

You're bored right? Want me to close?

Okay, here it is, I'll let you in on a little secret.

Not because I want to, but because I must

for if I don't, well, I'll just go mad, distraught, absent minded, crazy if  you will.

My secret: I've been through it.

More than I let on.

More than I'd ever express to the likes of you.

Those feelings stuffed and squeezed into the crevices are meant to sleep eternally.

Except they don't, but that's on me.

I must be my version of stoic

because no one likes a complainer.

Hash tag just sayin' : don't judge this book unti you've read every, last, page.

'cause you never know what someone has

concealed.