I cannot write an essay about myself, and this is why

I do not find myself that interesting,

And I certainly don’t have the time

I cannot write about my accomplishments

My many nonexistent prizes and awards

I cannot write about my extracurriculars

I join to only drop the ones I abhor

I cannot write about my personality

Because I’m not “out-going” like the essay should say

I cannot write about my numerous goals in life

They do not exist in any way

This essay should display my intelligence

Yet I am at a complete lost for words

My sentences seem too simple

With a lacking choice of verbs

So if you ask me to write an essay about myself

Do not expect the best from me

I cannot write to show off my “skills”

Even if this essay guarantees a college degree