
The Cold and the Cows
Location
So I was thinking
A bad idea at the best of times-
of the ice which coated the air in the barn
and it's something that renders a break in the lines
of comfort and calm and the pride in the work
of the toil and the strongest of smells and the dirt
and the smile you get when you stroke a sweet calf
the cold sets it off and convulses your bones
you stare at them all like they're ruminant clones
when the bitter iced coils start biting your skin
when your hair stands erect like straight silver pin
there's a miserable malice seeping out from within
scoop up some manure and stand waiting again
you're a slave to the compressions of a bovine's rear end
the sawdust is working to enter your lungs
and they're licking your palms, try to extract a bite
puts a strain on the passion you might have once sung
the love and your bloodless extremetiies fight
you can care for this heifer or run straight away
but the innocent look in their eyes beg you "stay"
since your heart's in your legs, you will always obey
Comments
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Hey there emma2012. I just read your poem twice, and I see a lot of strengths in it, as well as a couple of weak points. I feel like the theme of your poem, the conflicting emotions about ranch work, is well established. "Pungentest" should be replaced with a different, real word. Also, convolses should be convulses. Another point I really like was the abrupt change from happiness to loathing the messiness and dangers of farm work. Overall your poem is raw and has great imagery. Thanks for sharing :)