"it's okay to be you"

"i won't judge"

"speak your mind"

 

but if i do, you will judge

i know you

i have lived with you my whole life

i know you

 

i know what you think about people

people like me

 

things like this simply can't be fixed

ignoring my problems won't help me get better

and neither will sugarcoating it

 

if i knew you would accept me 

with all of my flaws 

with all of my irregularities

maybe i could be more open

 

but you won't

so i'll just wait it out

shut up inside my own head

my own closet

my goals and ideas are relevant

i plan on accomplishing them

 

i'll take all of the steps

i'll do anything to reach my goal

and honestly

what's money to someone doing what they love?

 

but not yet

 

not yet

because i'm not confident in you

 

there is a reason why i am out online

but not in my own home life

and that reason

is you

 

but just you wait

sooner than you think

 

i'll move out

i'll meet new people

i'll be a new person

 

i'll befriend whomever i'll befriend

and if by some chance

i fall in love

i'll love whomever i'll love

 

i'll come out to you with open arms

in hopes that your arms will be open, too

 

i'll chase my dreams

and even if i don't achieve them

and even if life doesn't turn out the way i thought

i'll die knowing that i tried

and i lived loudly

and i loved intensely

 

but for now

i'm stuck here

 

and a little support wouldn't hurt