I am so sorry.

I am sorry for that night you woke up from the worst nightmare you'd had in years,

seeking a warm, loving hug from your mom,

but greeted only by the sound of your father's engine revving up and your mother sobbing in her bedroom.

I am sorry for the next morning when he didn't come back and you realized that the worst nightmare you'd ever had was the one you were in now.

I am sorry for the long hours you'd spend staring out your bedroom window and at the paved street in front of your house,

elbows bruised from leaning against the windowsill for much too long,

desperately wishing that you could just get to say goodbye.

I'm sorry that your wish didn't come true.

I'm sorry for the years you spent thinking that you were unwanted

for no reason other than that you didn't have a father.

I'm sorry for that boy in class who saw you crying and told you to "get over it," as if you could simply 'get over' losing an entire part of who you are.

I'm sorry that you couldn't trust anyone for years because you were too terrified that if you ever loved someone again that they would leave.

I'm so sorry.