The undesirable woke every morning deprived of her parent’s love, replaced with an imitation of a family,

with chaos that filled the house of disappointments,

And the degenerate family members that fought day and night,

And the alcohol that persisted to stay on the lips of those we called mom and dad,

And the smoke that stayed in the air, forcing our lungs to endure the most excruciating feeling in a 5 year-old’s throat-all part of the undesirables morning before heading to school.

Adapting to a new house, new family, and new rules became a yearly thing;

Being told she wasn’t loved became the only immovable law in her life.

She learned to become independent, cooking and cleaning for everyone in the house, taking care of children, even though she was just a child herself.

Only relying on herself and trusting no one because no one would ever want to stay.

She truly believed she was the undesirable her family had forgotten about.

The woman with her eyes spread wide open and her body shaking even though sweat trickled down every inch of her body.

The woman with the burned clothes because she was too high to realize she had started a fire. The woman who beat down the undesirable because she felt like it would teach her a lesson. The woman who chose to buy alcohol instead of buying food for the house. The woman the undesirable was forced to call mother.

The man who showed the most compassion for the undesirable. The man who tried to hide his addictions and show the undesirable she was loved but this was the man who pulled out his wallet before he opened his ears. This was the man that made sure the undesirable was well provided for but never cared to ask “what’s going on at home?”. This was the man that lived two hours away but only kept in contact through the phone. This was the man that only saw the undesirable once a year. This was the man the undesirable called Father.And so the undesirable believed she would have to face the world alone, never fully relying on those that had the power to deny her love and affection

And soon the day came when she lost all hope of ever being wanted. The day she lost the will to live because it didn’t matter to those that surrounded her.

Her family had left her suffering and alone; filled with darkness and sorrow.

The undesirable had finally broken until she was convinced otherwise by the girl, who is now a beautiful thriving young woman,

Who welcomed and embraced her until she no longer felt undesirable.

And although it’s been a long road the undesirable is now seen as a survivor to all that look in her direction. She became a beacon of fire when everyone expected her to burn.

She became wanted.