I remember looking in the mirror telling myself, ¨It's true, maybe you're not that pretty¨. Moving from New York to Atlanta was a huge culture shift for me. The beauty standards were different and I was unprepared for what Atlanta had to offer. I moved to Atlanta when I was 10 years old. I was not happy to move but, I had no choice. Looking back from when I lived in New York, its safe to say that I was forced to grow up at a faster pace. Everything was different for me and I felt very uncomfortable. My mother would tell me that it’s normal because I was “home sick”. I totally disagreed, I knew something was not right. Going to school felt uncomfortable. The kids around me dressed, talked, and acted in a distinct way. They were in the 4th grade using vulgar language, wearing makeup and displayed adult tendencies. My mother dressed me everyday and I was not able to look or dress like my peers. I stuck out like a sore thumb. The kids at my school treated me different since. Growing up in Atlanta, bullying was popular and I was their main culprit. I was bullied about the clothes I wore, my hairstyle, and the fact that I did not wear makeup like others. My style was strictly New York, it was very different.

Going to school was terrible and coming home was even worse. Having a shoulder to cry on was not an option for me. It was strictly instructed to “suck it up and move on”. I felt alone and outcasted. My self esteem was completely torn. I did not like the skin I was in. I wished that I looked like the ones at my school. I wanted the long straight hair, makeup, and the attitude that everything that others had. The girls had an aura about themselves. The only way for me to feel accepted, was to look like the others, and so I tried. I started wearing makeup and following trends. However, I still did not feel like myself. As time went by, I felt the urge to find out who I was. My 8th Grade year took a toll on me growing into the person I am today. Pinning down the problem took no time. I did not know my worth. I did my research on the true essence of being black and my life changed instantly.

I started researching my origins. I studied the Kings and Queens who looked like me, the importance of melanin, what it means to have African descent, and most importantly, my history before slavery. I was fascinated by all the outstanding things people my color did. Being black and a female in America already has setbacks, yet that would not stop me from making a positive mark in life. I started respecting myself. I did not tolerate any disrespect from my peers any longer. I treated my peers better because I understood that they were simply ignorant to the fact that they too came from greatness. I felt the need to walk with a purpose because I had one. The level of respect  increased within myself. Having healthy self-respect for myself, made me feel more capable of doing things and confident in doing it. In pursuing my dreams, the factors impacted the result by building healthy self-respect, I started understanding my values, I listed my priorities, and continually strive to live by them. Today, I walk with a purpose influenced by the long journey I took in finding myself.