Celestial bodies

I missed you again today

I've been doing this thing where I refrain from thinking about you until about the worst possible time in the day to break down

When I'm dipping in the pool for the beginning of practice 

The second I stand to give my report

When I climb into bed and I suddenly, crushingly, wish you were there with me


What was it about your giant ears that makes them the subject of my daydreams?

What was it about your small misplaced teeth that still brings a smile to my lips?

What was it about your big, bass-player hands that always sends shivers into my hips?

What makes our love any less fit than others to survive the tribulations of disapproval?

What makes me cry all by myself in the locker room,

a spectre of an unfulfilled romance dancing around in my head,

fueled by the fires of a thousand suns

bundled up in one like a Death Star with your name on it.

Have you loved me, Dear one, enough to warrant the pain I've kept burning in my heart since our parting?

The bellows of absence blowing like Hell to keep a passion alive  in me.

Do you remember the name of the song we danced awkwardly to in the park,

do you know that I loved you like the sky was falling that night and the sun wouldn't come up in the morning?

If I were to wake up and feel your breath on my face would I cry or laugh

in the face of certain death or insanity.

Would you hold me tight to your chest until the ground stopped shaking, or the tremors in my gut gave way to

easy love and rapturous kisses.

I would grip you so close as to tear you from the paper town you've been hiding out in.

I had a fit of missing you, my coach said the get my head on straight before I drowned myself.

I stared in a mirror through a salted haze and waited for a golden angel to take my hand,

to lead me to the promise land where love can only nurture and good-bye has no sting.


I loved you like the sky would fall in the moments I held you near, like the sun wouldn't come in the morning.

I pronely let you kiss my lips and wondered at the peculiarity of such a thing.

Your wet mouth stuck to mine like a clammy hand to hold,

your hands on my waist like a young climber claiming a tree trunk.

I loved you like the sea was waning its last in the milky moonlight and the mighty trumpet's call was already in the air.

I loved you like any girl does her first love but, the doe eyed blindness of a first love can last only so long. 

You are but a man, a child, thrown into the mix just like me. 

Not nearly the prince that's saved up for me just around the bend. 

I missed you just now but I think that will be the last time the sky falls on my tearstained face

And the sunset covered all the world in sparkling contentment like rain


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