Am I desperate or just insane?

Because in this moment all I see is the pain in my face as well as yours,

You won't let me apologize for this because you say it's not my fault,

But you tell me it is my fault,

You tell me it's okay and then deny that it's okay,

When the darkness sets in I have no where to go because you say depression isn't real,

I feel like everyone is counting on me to live,

But no one is the to say you're safe now,

Nothing can hurt you,

Not even yourself,

And when you fight for so long,

You begin to forget why you even cared in the first place,

So why can't I just close my eyes,

And live?