tell me you love me with stars in your eyes
and i’ll run my bruised hands through your hair.
tell me you love me, darling, it’s no surprise:
i’ve known forever that you are there.
from when we first met, from when we first laughed,
from the first time that i held your hand;
from when i met your mom, from the depths of ninth grade,
from all my attempts to understand –
- your awkward strange statements, your guilty flushed face,
your stilted jokes and frantic hand gestures;
enchanted by you, i found myself closing space
between me and you and what i had pictured.
my darling, i don’t think that you are the one,
but for right now you’re all that i need.
you’re all that i want; i can’t tell you the sum
of my feelings; i’m in this too deep.
i never intended to feel this for you;
i am worried that i’ll fall in love.
but you are so lovely; the stars in your eyes
are commanding me to just give it up.
i like your bad jokes; i like your strange tastes;
i like that you’ve something to lose.
i don’t have that, darling: i’m just empty space.
all my hardwiring has been removed.
i write you my poems, though none are for you;
they’re for me, and for me alone.
but darling, you give me a world’s inspiration
while i’m sitting at home in my room.
i miss you, my darling, i swear that i do;
every day, all i want is to talk to you.
there are days when i just can’t speak, when i’m mute,
but tell me: will you still let me in?
will you tell me you love me, with stars in your eyes, when i’m no longer able to grin?
will you tell me you love me, your eyes open wide, when i begin rotting within?
will you still love me, darling, will you want me all still, when i’ve finally let you under my skin?
or will you reject me, my dearest, when you see what i am? will you face me with shame and chagrin?
it terrifies me to feel this way for you,
but you give me a world’s inspiration.