We started out as friends, then we became more than what we started out as.
Our relationship was texts that went on all night, we would be on the phone for
hours, or we would play that game that was like fortnite.
The one night I was out with friends.
I had told your cousin I used, she told me I should tell you.
Yet I was afraid to how you might react.
Later that night we were on the phone.
I said “Baby I have something to tell you, I ended up using and I’m sorry”.
The way you responded was so sweet
“Don’t use anymore because you have to remember who you are and what you want
to do in your life, have to remember all the plans we have together and I worry for
your health if you use.”
I loved the way you responded, I kept that commitment to you until something
happened later on. We have had so many amazing conversations.
My favorite is when we would facetime and we would just be talking about future goals
and dreams we wanted to accomplish and so many ideas for senior trips and whatnot.
Most importantly, you didn’t care about looks, weight, body types, you seemed to love
my personality, my eyes, smile, kind heart, and loving me for me.
I let that all go though.
One day, you didn’t text me and I was worried about you.
Later that day, your cousins Cielo and Perla introduced me to Bryan.
Bryan wanted to meet me and get to know me to make sure you found the right girl.
I decided to text Bryan, we got pretty close and you didn’t like that.
Him and I started calling each other best friend, that made you jealous.
You were protective because I was your first girlfriend.
Bryan and I would facetime, talk more, and now you seemed hurt because you were
worried he would take me away from you and he did.
He started showing emotion and showed feelings towards me,
I started feeling the same.
It started small and got to the point where he would call me baby, babygirl, or even
princess. He claimed me, I texted you one night and asked if you had time to talk.
You said “sure”. You seemed hesitant in your reply.
I said “I think it’s best if we break up, I found someone new, I’m sorry”, those exact
words I said. You were shocked, hurt, you sunk into a depression.
You really loved me and I didn’t see that until I lost you.
You thought I didn’t love you well truth is I didn’t realize the amazing person I had
before me, I was blinded by someone who would later hurt me.
I thought I was happier with Bryan but I wasn’t.
I remember that night of prom, I came to give Bryan a present.
I wanted to see him and let him see me in my dress.
Little did I know you were there, you looked out the window and the tears
streamed down your face and it broke my heart because I do love you and
seeing you there watching me and Bryan hug and take pictures hurt.
You were hurting, then when he tried to kiss me I saw the anger in your eyes,
you walked away from the window and my friend Taysia seemed to question me
when me and her got back in the car.
Anyway, me and Bryans relationship was different because he didn’t really care
for me like you did, he didn’t love me or accept me for who I was, he didn’t see
my heart for what it is, he didn’t care if I used because he was using. Bryan wasn’t
the person I wanted, he wasn’t anything compared to you.
Me and your cousin didn’t even last that long, it was a week long relationship.
Me and your relationship lasted longer and it was a healthier relationship.
The point of this letter was to apologize, let you know I am truly sorry for hurting you.
I left you for your cousin and that was really horrible of me to do.
I’ve never seen someone so in love and get torn down by someone who was
being inconsiderate and blinded a light I didn't see that was there.
Truth is man, I really do love you.
I took your love for granted and I wish I could go back and change time and
get you back in my life,
I wish I would’ve avoided those conversations because I wouldn’t be in a rehab facility
if I would have never left you.
I didn’t realize what we had.
You made me feel like I didn't need a father.
You made it seem like that I could do things the right way.
I learned from my mistakes and now I am 17 turning 18 here in May.
I miss you, you bring a lot of lessons not even my parents could teach me.
You taught me a new lifestyle, to show integrity and not hang out with people who
are using or even lying, I need to be more assertive.
I need to say thank you for everything you have done.
Thank you for the lessons, memories, and friendship.
Before I end this letter, I have one more thing to say.
Out of all the people I’ve hurt, I’ve never felt more guilty than for hurting you.
You treated me like a queen, always wanting the best for me, never judged me, always
wanted the best for me, pushed me to graduate, loved the things I would say,
you saw my true beauty while I thought I was ugly.
When things were happening, you were there to comfort me,
never was there one day you thought of leaving me, I was going to be your first
everything. If I would have stayed with you, I would be doing my senior year, we
would still be together, we would still be talking every night pretty late, you would
have me by your side and I wouldn’t of messed up the way I did.
I hope one day you could forgive me, maybe one day I could right my wrongs and
we could be happy. I miss you and one day I hope I can make it up to you and you
give me that second chance.“Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given
never forgotten, never let it disappear.”
Just know I love you I, always have and always will.
Love your ex,