broken history
Messed up
That is the first word that comes to mind
When I think of myself
My parents are divorced
My father is never around unless it benefits him
My mother cares for me as much as any loving mother could
I look back and remember the fights
The screaming
The yelling
The anger
I have fought my whole life
Hidden my emotions from the world
Until one day I snap
When I snap I am so far down in my hole
The only way I see out of it
Is to end it all
The pain
The misery
Everything
So I write a note
Do I do anything besides that
I did once
It scared me
I am lost
In a fake happiness
Sometimes I wear my mask so well that I even fool myself
I just wish one day I could scream my true feelings
To get my point across
I sometimes cry myself to sleep
I toss and turn and never really truly sleep
Everyday I awake and struggle out of bed
The voices are constant
All hate no love
I try to fight them or atleast conceal them
I try to talk louder so as to shut them out
But it fails they just continue to raise their volume as I raise mine
I just wish one day someone would ask how I was doing
And I say yes
And they repy back
No you are not
And hug me so tight I can slowly feel the pieces come back together
This is my wish for a broken history
Someone who can see I am not ok and try to help out