Devoured by my mind

I stood a silent victim

Of mindless medication

Of helpless happiness

Of the emesse emptiness.

 

They told me,

This was the right way

To cure me.

 

To drown me in pills

Because I was sick

Of feeling empty

Of lacking human connection

Of feeling lonely

When I was not alone.

 

But I could see

My eyes in the reflection

They looked back at me

With drowning screams

They begged me

To stop the pain.

 

Even at a max dose

I was not sane

Memories wouldn't let me be.

 

PTSD.

I had to break free.

Of these chains

That bound me

Underneath this sea

 

So I sank the pills

So I fought every night

So I could wake up the next day

So I could love my friends

So I could feel again

 

PTSD.

Still lives in me

But I can break free

And see the things

That make life worth living.